The Seger FileAn unofficial web site about the music of Bob Seger Last updated June 1998 Edited by Scott Sparling email@example.com
Shortly after The Seger File went online, people around the office began asking about it. To avoid repeating the story of the Seger File to everyone, I wrote the following piece for the company newsletter. It was rejected by the newsletter editor, though, in order to "save paper." So I'm publishing it myself. Here it is:
Thou Shall Not: A guide to the office-Internet interface.
I would like to remind you that the office Internet connection is intended for business use only, and not for your personal entertainment, which means that you should not use office time or equipment to visit my newly created web site, www.segerfile.com, also known as The SegerFile, the largest and most comprehensive site on the entire World Wide Web for any classic rock artist.
Furthermore, you should certainly not all go there on the same day, as this would unduly alarm those charged with monitoring office Internet activity.
Most assuredly, you should not spend hours of company time surfing classic rock sites on the web, attempting to verify my claim of being the largest. Frankly, you should not doubt my claim.
(Further, you should not say, for example, that you bet The Beatles have a larger site, since The Beatles obviously were a group, and not a solo artist.)
You should not, if you are a disc jockey in Pittsburgh, advocate that your listeners visit The SegerFile, and, if you are a Seger-obssessed fan in Pittsburgh, you should not e-mail me blaming me for your marital difficulties after having spent all Saturday night exploring the The SegerFile.
Importantly, you should not compare The SegerFile to a very large ball of string, nor should you assert that the impulse to compile and organize every last bit of Seger information is in any way similar to the impulse that leads people to collect string.
Also, please note well: You should not say, "But why Bob Seger?" and then proceed to regale me with stories about favorite rock artist or musician. In a similar vein, you should not ask, "what is it you about Bob Seger?" unless you are prepared for a monosyllabic grunt or long-winded reply, depending on my mood and the time of day.
You should definitely not corner me in the lunchroom and cheerfully volunteer that "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?" is one of favorite songs, too! That's Pete Seeger, not Bob Seger -- and you should not confuse them.
In the interests of quality, you should not hesitate to point out any dysfunctional links or typographical errors you notice on my site, though you should certainly not use a triumphant or judgmental tone of voice while doing so.
You should not assume, simply because I am the creator of a massive Web site about a rock artist who is over 50, that my musical taste is any less hip or up-to-the-minute than yours. You should not use the term "geezer" to describe someone who released 10 consecutive multi-platinum albums over a 20 year period.
To maintain a productive work atmosphere, you should not be distracted by any deep-seated jealousy over the fact that one of my photographs of Bob Seger appears on one of his early albums, and is thus available in record and CD stores around the world. Further, when my eyes glaze over during some three-hour meeting you have invited me to, you should not automatically assume that I have drifted from the topic at hand and am actually wondering old house Seger was referring to when he wrote the lyrics for the obscure but authentic ballad, "This Old House," a simple and honest song completely unrelated to the PBS show of the same name and later reworked by Seger himself into the somewhat smarmy "We've Got Tonight," a song which subsequently became a syrupy hit for the unlikely pair of Kenny Rogers and Sheena Easton, and which -- still later -- turned up on a collection of love songs by the ever-smarmy Barry Manilow. You should not assume I like every Seger song ever written. Indeed, you should not assume you know anything at all about Seger's music until you've listened to "Sock It To Me, Santa" off the raucus 1967 Cameo-Parkway single at top volume on Christmas morning.
You should not roll your eyes and ask if I've ever thought about getting a life, unless you want to be mistaken for my spouse in a weaker moment.
You should not complain about the lack of graphics on The SegerFile, unless you want me to repeat, for the one hundredth time, that it's called the "Information Superhighway," not the "Graphics Superhighway." Nor should you be concerned, given the constant pressure to add graphics, about any unauthorized use of the office scanner.
Finally, you should be wary of concluding, simply because I have an interest in completeness, that I've taken 'this Seger thing' too far, and you should not make comments to that effect to others. You could -- but you should not.
96 TourMainMenuReadin' OP's
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